Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Five Tips To Being A Bad Manager

Let's start with a fact:  The majority of people have a bad attitude about their jobs.  Why?  Because we have bad bosses, annoying co-workers, horrible working conditions.  If that many people have bad managers, annoying co-workers and horrible working conditions and do nothing about it, it must be we're getting something out of it.  And if there are that many bad managers, there must be a demand for them, so let's look at the top five ways to be a bad manager - in case you're looking at moving up.

1.  You're better than everyone you manage, because you're the boss.

The best bad managers I've known look at those they manage as if they're the scum of the earth, out to rip off the company and are the laziest people out there.  You're the best, so that's why you were put into your position.  Those low-lifes who work for you better not dare bring along suggestions; after all, they can't know as much as you.

2.  Manage by intimidation.

Who doesn't respond to yelling and screaming?  It's always better if your employees fear you, just like your kids, right?  Yelling always gets people to do what you want, doesn't it.  They scurry like little mice the minute you walk into the room and you feel great because you've got the power.  After all - you learned from the best!  That idiot you replaced did the same thing, so if it worked for him (even though he was fired because the team had poor productivity), it'll work for you.  Right?

3.  Work is for everyone else; I'm a boss.

Let the employees do all the work; you're the boss and you deserve to kick back, relax, take long lunch breaks, walk around the office like royalty and look out your window for hours at a time.  If the team isn't getting enough work done, it's their fault because they're slackers and you shouldn't be expected to jump in and help; you're the boss!

4.  I'm the boss and I have a life but you don't.

One way to guarantee your team will hate you, fear you and scurry when you enter the room is to surprise them with the gift of unscheduled overtime.  They're employees, so they should expect to be called in on Saturday or asked to stay late at the last minute.  But you don't have to because you're the boss!  They love seeing you walk out the door for your son's baseball game or your daughter's soccer practice, even though they're missing the same things.  Let them work harder so they can become bosses and enjoy life.

5.  My team is out to get me.

It's such a hassle being the boss; everyone's always out to get you, so what better way to get them back than forming alliances, backstabbing those who are reaching for your job and taking credit for everything your team does.  It works in reality TV, doesn't it?  The winners are always those who backstab the best, form the best alliances until they're inconvenient and who take credit for it all.  That's real life, isn't it?  So what better way than to do the same thing?

Sound ridiculous?  Of course it is, but everyone has had this kind of boss and in this era of having to do more with fewer people, they're actually becoming the norm.

Of course, the whole premise of this article is to show that the best bosses are really those who remember they're employees too.  They jump into the fray to get the work done, along with the rest of the team.  They remember it's a team, not overlords and underlings.  They practice the Golden Rule and treat their team members as they like to be treated - no yelling, no screaming, no intimidation.  They remember that everyone has a life outside the office and are sensitive to the needs of their team members and their families.  And their teams are hugely successful. 

And they remember that reality TV is TV, not reality.